The New Mid Life Crisis

I just ran across an article that I loved from TIME Magazine from last May titled, The New Mid-Life Crisis - Bring It On!  A really great article about how women are hitting their 40's, and 50's and finding that their attitudes, their desires, where they want to spend their time - it all is starting to shift.......they have a yearning for something else in their life - that used to mean a mid life crisis. 

There's a developing trend that instead of that "something else" turning into an affair, a convertible, a divorce, etc...(or maybe after those lose their attractiveness) they are using their talents to create positive change in the world. They are discovering and using their talents, passions, and purpose and using those to create businesses, non-profit organizations and to support other women through their "mid-life shift".

If you are feeling like there has to be something more....this is an inspiring article to read. From creating a lite beer that women would enjoy drinking, to creating women's retreats, there's lots of ideas and inspiration here....

Here's the main article - there was also some great sideline artcles as well.

Download mid_life_crisis__bring_it_on.doc

Inspiring Minds Want to Know!

Laura

Passionate User

This is the blog of a Passionate User. I am a Passionate User of anything related to being a Joyful Entrepreneur - spirituality, business, marketing, branding, business ownership, leadership, consciousnesses, mindfulness, media, music, books, travel, women, men, couples, boys, life, mid-life, loving life, making enough money by helping people to love their business and enjoy their life!

Having a mindset of a Passionate User, a termed coined in the computer gaming industry, is so freeing. Much more freeing than feeling like I have to an expert!  Expert thoughts, expert expectations (real or imagined) - stop me in my tracks!  Being a Passionate User - I get to share, I get to discuss, I get to be passionate while on the trail learning with you.

As Joyful Entrepreneurs, we are on a new trail - unblazed, wild, adventureous, scary and exciting. (Reminds me of the movie - Last of the Mohicans!)

Ok, so my "expert gremlin" (probably funded and heavily supported by "authority gremlin")* is jumping up and down saying "Nooooooo!  Don't let them think you don't know everything!"  C'mon, we know it just isn't possible to know everything.  Especially in this new day, there's just so much to know and it changes by the nanosecond!  What's more helpful is to be curious, to be aware, and be willing to apply.

Some questions to get you started:  What's really valuable is being able to see what is working, What about it works, what doesn't work, what your vision is and what do you need to get there?

Did you get those questions?  They really work....(gratefully borrowed and lovingly used often from a book called "First Break All The Rules")

What is working?

What about it works?

What doesn't work?

What would you like it to be like? (What's your vision?)

What do you need to get it there?

And how would a Passionate User answer those questions?

Curiously,

Laura

*Gremlins - known by many names: inner critic, mind chatter, that damn voice inside my head, etc...

Meaningful Summer Read

I just finished a wonderfully inspiring book. It's biographical and a true pleasure if you are looking for something meaningful to read during the summer and would rather have something that reads more like a light novel.

It's call "A Walk on The Beach" by Joan Anderson.  Faced with a decision to move with her husband for a new job opportunity she choose to spend a year at her cottage on Cape Cod to find herself as a woman, a person and a wife. She actually wrote 3 books about this year in her life. I started with the 3rd one(that was all Barnes & Noble has in stock when I was desperately wanting a book for some beach time).This one is about her relationship with a 90 year old woman she met at the beach.  This woman, Joan Erikson (psychoanalyst Erik Erikson's wife) became her mentor, muse and coach during their friendship. This book is about their friendship and her introduction into Joan Erikson's unconventional wisdom like, "Dance beyond the breakers" and "Overdose on the senses".

I highly recommend it and in fact, have ordered her other two books.

I also read that she has women's retreats by the sea. Uh, wow!  I'll be checking that out. I've always dreamed of holding women's retreats by the sea and look forward to the day that happens....just by attracting this book into my life  and reconnecting to the energy I have around this idea....I know it's in motion and on it's way to me in some form or fashion.

Happy Wednesday! Hope you are enjoying your summer....

Laura

Amazon continues to Amaze

I just continue to be amazed at Amazon's responsiveness to their clients needs. Just today, in ordering the books I wrote about in my earlier blog entry (OK, so I ordered a few other books as well,   I'm going to Ft. Lauderdale for a long weekend - gotta have a variety of reads - you just never know what you'll be inspired to feast on!). Anyway, I wanted to get my books in time for my mini beach vacation and placed my order in time to receive them before the plane takes off.

When I received my email notification the expected arrival for my books was August 12th! Whoa - totally missing my relaxing reading opporunity in the sand!  I sent an email and expressed my confusion as the original order said they would be here by next week.

Amazingly enough, they sent back a response with 2 hours and had an answer and a solution - not just one of those confirmation emails that your email has been lost (I mean, added) to the queue of email requests. Their solution - they noticed that one of the items wasn't availble until August and apparently I had selected to ship all the books together - so hence the delay. They apologized, changed my delivery to be shipped out tomorrow (with the other book coming in August). No extra shipping charges. They also explained how the process works so that I'll understand for future orders and a request to please let them know if this works for me and if I'm happy with this course of action.  They included a link with the subject line already filled out "Positive feedback to Amazon" - Cute! Effective!

I just love examples of Joyful Business processes in action!  I'd love to hear about your experiences - I know they are out there!  Let's make a practice of sharing those interactions instead of focusing only on negative ones.

What a much more pleasant day it will be!

Joyfully in Business,

Laura

Summer Camp & Growing Pains

My 8 year old son left for a week long summer camp adventure last night. It is his first time away for a whole week without family. And, I have to admit that I have just been emotional all day. I can so feel and see his growth from a little boy into a "boy". All summer he has been pushing the limits of his independence and showing me that "Hey Mom, it's time to redefine your role!"  I have felt the pain of letting go a little.  "Hey Mom, let me go into the QT (convenience store) and get the milk all by myself" "Hey Mom, can't I just ride my bike to the pool?  You can follow in the car"

All summer I have been very clear that it was very important for me as the mom, queen nurturer, - that I should be the one to drive him 2 hours to camp and make sure that it looked ok, he found his cabin, got his sheets on alright and sorted out his suitcase, have a private chat with the counselor that occassionally he wets the bed and to please be discrete and just limit his liquids before bedtime, etc... This would all set his week at camp in motion successfully!

What I realized last week was that he would probably enjoy riding with this friend and his brothers who have all been to the camp before.  He would hear their excitement and get clued in on what it's like even more than watching the camp video on the computer. It really hurt to let go of what I thought was what he needed. What I realized was that it was what I needed. What he needed was to be in the company of excited buddies who could tell him about camp and through their excitement he would get even more excited.

I realize that today I have been grieving. Grieving for the little boy I could just hold in my arms and kiss the boo-boo all better. He's long since been past that stage and there's something about knowing he's going to grow a lot this week. He's going to make his own decisions, he'll be meeting new people and having new experiences and he'll be free to be a kid - to be silly and to just be an 8 year kid and I am sure he'll probably have contests with all sorts of bodily functions I can only imagine (if I would want to).   

Last year I went through a leadership program where we flew out to a retreat center 4 times during the year.  We slept in bunk beds. We were in community with 20 other folks that we came to know quite intimately. We made new friends. We stretched and we grew and watched each other do so. We laughed and shared our pain. I imagine he'll be doing a bit of that. It has given me comfort to know that he's sleeping in a bunk bed and like his mom he prefers the lower bunk - all cozy, nestled and safe. A perfect counter balance to the stretching and growing that takes place in the awake hours.

So, I am going to pick him up from camp instead. I will get embraced as the first sight of loving family when the week is over (yes, I know, you can hear the Sound of Music theme playing in the background of my dream image).  What I do know is that he will like me picking him up and he'll get to tell me about the camp and show me what an expert his is at where everything is at and how the whole thing works. And, I'll get to hear his real stories when he's ready to share them - probably sometime later in the week when he'll be getting into bed and asking me to "snuggle" with him.

My question for you is - where in your relationship with someone do you need to let go a bit to let them and you grow?  What is possible for you both when this happens?  Watch and capture the moments of change and growth and take the time to appreciate the nuances of this part of the journey. And don't forget to find those moments to "snuggle" and enjoy the intimacy!

Now I need to go and finish packing a care package to send to him at camp - full of his favorite treats, brain teaser games and a Yu-Gi-Oh magazine!

Warmly,

Laura - A Joyful Mom (as much as possible)

London Today

I couldn't sleep this morning. I was awake at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep.  Sometimes this happens even when you are a Joyful Entrepreneur - your mind overrides all the other bodily systems - like the need for sleep.  Fortuntely I had a good supply of markers and my creative pad nearby and I mind mapped all those things bottled up inside....topic for my next newsletter, website updates, make airline reservations, buy birthday present for my son, get that proposal out, fill out the RFP to speak in New England, on, and on it went....unfortunately this didn't present immediate relief for my strained brain so I picked up the phone and called Marc, my LPE.  (Life Partner Extraordinaire)

He lives outside London in England so I thought he'd be awake. He wasn't as awake as usual as he was still a bit on East Coast time after visiting Atlanta for 3 weeks. We had a great conversation about the big stuff, the gremlins, what were they telling me, how were the "fear bugs" serving me and we ended visualizing my "King Protector" gremlin hopping on a Harley, feeling the wind and sun on his face as he peeled out to continue his journey....

Our conversation then took a turn as Marc heard the news about the bombings in the city of London. fortunately he wasn't in the city this morning so he was safe and well.  We knew it was the first day of the G8 conference and it was an important event in collaboration of world leaders around global concerns.  As we each watched CNN on our own TV's in our seperate countries there was this huge silence that spoke volumes...a huge sadness that human beings could and would inflict this pain on their fellow people, sadness that there aren't other less violent forms of expression that this group feels is available and effective for them, and sad that making a statement on a day when countries are gathering to work together in global collaboration and that in the complicated, twisted way the "global system" is set up that this group probably feels threatened in African Countries becoming more stable and productive.  That the idea of creating alternative fuels and conversing about saving the environment (hello another word for "world" - which  is the bigger picture in the global environment conversation) creates fear by threatening their need to have oil reign as king and for them to control it.

I am by no means an expert on they (whoever "they" are in the moment) and what their needs really are and what their agenda is - I just know that I feel.  The feelings range from sadness to passion - passion for wanting to help create positive change in the world so we have a better place for us and our children and their children, and on and on....

So I encourage you to share with someone what you feel today. Whether it's feeling gratitude for what is, fear of what may not be, saddened by what isn't.....by coming together and connecting - reaching out and having real conversation - that's where the change starts!

And if you are feeling compelled into further action please visit the websites for the Center for Non-Violent Communication and another one for creating a Department of Peace. Bothof these programs are dedicated to providing alternative means of communication - communicating what really matters and doing it through alternatives to just using bombs and guns.

www.cnvc.com Center for Non-Violent communication

www.departmentofpeace.com For ways for how you can help create a Department of Peace in addition tothe current Department of War - in the U.S.

With huge gratitude for being able to sit in a cafe on a glorious Thursday in rain drenched Atlanta and write on my new laptop and enjoy the abundance and beauty of life...,

With Love, Laura