My 8 year old son left for a week long summer camp adventure last night. It is his first time away for a whole week without family. And, I have to admit that I have just been emotional all day. I can so feel and see his growth from a little boy into a "boy". All summer he has been pushing the limits of his independence and showing me that "Hey Mom, it's time to redefine your role!"  I have felt the pain of letting go a little.  "Hey Mom, let me go into the QT (convenience store) and get the milk all by myself" "Hey Mom, can't I just ride my bike to the pool?  You can follow in the car"

All summer I have been very clear that it was very important for me as the mom, queen nurturer, - that I should be the one to drive him 2 hours to camp and make sure that it looked ok, he found his cabin, got his sheets on alright and sorted out his suitcase, have a private chat with the counselor that occassionally he wets the bed and to please be discrete and just limit his liquids before bedtime, etc... This would all set his week at camp in motion successfully!

What I realized last week was that he would probably enjoy riding with this friend and his brothers who have all been to the camp before.  He would hear their excitement and get clued in on what it's like even more than watching the camp video on the computer. It really hurt to let go of what I thought was what he needed. What I realized was that it was what I needed. What he needed was to be in the company of excited buddies who could tell him about camp and through their excitement he would get even more excited.

I realize that today I have been grieving. Grieving for the little boy I could just hold in my arms and kiss the boo-boo all better. He's long since been past that stage and there's something about knowing he's going to grow a lot this week. He's going to make his own decisions, he'll be meeting new people and having new experiences and he'll be free to be a kid - to be silly and to just be an 8 year kid and I am sure he'll probably have contests with all sorts of bodily functions I can only imagine (if I would want to).   

Last year I went through a leadership program where we flew out to a retreat center 4 times during the year.  We slept in bunk beds. We were in community with 20 other folks that we came to know quite intimately. We made new friends. We stretched and we grew and watched each other do so. We laughed and shared our pain. I imagine he'll be doing a bit of that. It has given me comfort to know that he's sleeping in a bunk bed and like his mom he prefers the lower bunk - all cozy, nestled and safe. A perfect counter balance to the stretching and growing that takes place in the awake hours.

So, I am going to pick him up from camp instead. I will get embraced as the first sight of loving family when the week is over (yes, I know, you can hear the Sound of Music theme playing in the background of my dream image).  What I do know is that he will like me picking him up and he'll get to tell me about the camp and show me what an expert his is at where everything is at and how the whole thing works. And, I'll get to hear his real stories when he's ready to share them - probably sometime later in the week when he'll be getting into bed and asking me to "snuggle" with him.

My question for you is - where in your relationship with someone do you need to let go a bit to let them and you grow?  What is possible for you both when this happens?  Watch and capture the moments of change and growth and take the time to appreciate the nuances of this part of the journey. And don't forget to find those moments to "snuggle" and enjoy the intimacy!

Now I need to go and finish packing a care package to send to him at camp - full of his favorite treats, brain teaser games and a Yu-Gi-Oh magazine!

Warmly,

Laura - A Joyful Mom (as much as possible)