No Fax/No Fun! Perspectives on Fun

A few notable observations about fun:

You know how you remember certain defining conversations in your life? Those conversations, sometimes short ones, that were a turning point. I can remember one about fun that totally was an impetus for change.

I was a VP of Marketing for the retail division of a large international company and our real estate (shopping center) division had been bought out/merged/name changed/management changed, oh about 5 times in 5 years. We were having one of those emergency "morale is really low and what are we going to do about it" meetings with all the department heads.

After we had gone around the table and heard each departments tales of woe and suggestions, our valiant CEO said, "Hey guys, c'mon, we just need to have some fun!"

I remember my chin dropping. Anger rising. And, these brilliant words coming from my mouth. "You want me to have fun. My fax machine doesn't work and you want me to have fun."

Next, I can remember vividly having this outer body experience. My self went out of my body and just stared back at this woman who just said this....No Fax/No Fun. I was disgusted at what I saw. Who was this woman sitting here? I knew that wasn't the real me. Just to add some context and create an excuse for my comment: back in "those days" all our ad approvals and proofing were done via fax so it was a pretty crucial machine for the job. But still....No Fax/No Fun? What had my life come to?

I know our CEO, who was quite a visionary (ie: really out there ideas and was wonderfully savvy at not getting bogged down in fax support issues - which is truly a strength of a visionary). I really don't know if he ever got that it wasn't about the fax machine. The No Fax/No Fun was a sign of something much bigger going on within the corporate framework. A 'walking dead" person syndrome that I experienced much of my last year in corporate.

It was shortly after that conversation that I hired my first coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life and to help me get rid of my scarlet letter/logo "No Fax/No Fun"! And, I am proud to say that within a couple of years I launched Joyful Marketing whose tagline was (and still is) "Make your marketing easy, natural & fun!"

What I also learned is that one of my highest values is what I call - "Nicholas' tire swing laugh". The unabandaned laughter of a child being swung crazily on a tire swing from a big huge tree. I am sure that was why I was so angey - my fun value was getting squashed!

What I have also learned (and I had to break down some old thoughts and habits) is that we truly are at choice. We can go through life, work on a project, be a parent and we get to choose how we want to be. We can chose fun.

Recently, another "fun" telltale moment came up. I volunteer for an organization where we are really growing and putting lots of systems and templates into place for the ease of future volunteer teams. Well the process of "creating systems and templates" was becoming pretty stressful and heated. It was starting to remind me of my corporate "No fax/No fun" days. I ended up sending an email reminding everyone of what we were really doing. It wasn't about the systems and the work today. It was about the legacy we are creating for future teams to have confidence, joy and ease in their work. AND, we are at choice about HOW WE BE as we do this work. I then shared a favorite fun motivational video with the team called "Eight Principles" - which is all about remembering and choosing to cultivate fun and how it adds to our life & creativity. It was a good reminder for me.

My last note about about fun is from last Friday, I thought my 4 year old needed some extra tlc. He had been acting up quite a bit lately and so we took our time getting into school. I invited him to sit with me and watch this same video - "Eight Principles". As all the colors flashed, and words bounced and music played, I read the words. He enjoyed counting the numbers and watching for the next one to appear. He particuarly liked the principle about "break the rules - they're all made up anyway". Hmm, I think he's taken that one to heart!

Later in the car, on the detoured way to get a donut before school, I said, "Wasn't that video on the computer fun?" And, from the truthful honesty of a 4 year old. "No, no really." I said, "Well, it was kind of crazy, right?" And my wise son said, "Yeah, kind of crazy but not really fun." I am reminded of the perspective shift we go through of what's fun from 4 to 40! It's kind of sad!

And, we are always at choice!

Here's the fabulously "fun" video from Michael Bungay Stanier 

www.eightprinciples.com

Enjoy!

Laura (recovered "No fax/No fun" frowner!)

Power for Good

"Power is the ability to achieve purpose, Power is the ability to effect change .." 

~Martin Luther King

This quote stood out for me as I read TIME magazine's cover article on Martin Luther King. This week in the U.S. we honor King's birthday. I took some time on his celebrated birthday to reflect on this powerful man and others who are creating change and who are so full of purpose and power.

In a previous edition of TIME, the covered featured some other powerful people - the "TIME People of the Year - Bono, and Melinda and Bill Gates. I was especially interested in the article about Bono (aren't we all?). It was fascinating to read about this hugely successful, hip, cultural icon and how he uses his fianancial, social, and "hipness" power for good. That was what was striking me the most - he was using his "power for good" - creating awarenss and real action for conquering world poverty, debt and aids.

He knows how "cool" it is to be around him and his well known friends. To picture him walking in the halls of the White House in his trademark glasses and clothing makes me laugh. I am impressed at how much studying he has done to educate himself on global issues so that he can also be seen as someone understands the systems, the global issues and the governmental issues (however self made all those are!). What really is fascinating is to hear how he "uses" his power for good to get together unlikely people to have "conversations that matter".

It makes me wonder....how do we use our "power" in our everyday lives? We may not all be rock superstars but we all have positions that come with power...parents, teachers, employers, business owners, a volunteer, little league coaches & business coaches.  How about as a spouse, a child, how about a waiter - talk about power! A waiter has the power to make your dinner a disaster or a wonderfully delightful experience.   

All of these roles in our life come with power - spoken or unspoken - whether you are being a victim or a leader - there's power. 

How are you weilding your power?

Where can you use your "power for good"?

Joyfully stepping into owner my "power for good",

Laura

It's Official!

So, it's official...I am engaged!  Actually I've been engaged since June 2005 but we just got the engagement ring.  (It's absolutely beautiful by the way - as all engagement rings are!)  There is something about it not feeling official until 'ya have the ring!

It makes me think....what else am I waiting on to be deemed "official"? Waiting... until I really step into enjoying it, celebrating it, being it? I can remember when I started coaching six years ago. Even though I had 15 years of marketing and business experience, several VP titles with a large international company, awards, certifications, designations, etc.. - I still waited to feel like official coach.

At various times I have felt like someone "outside" of me needs to officially crown me as a success at one thing or another. Perhaps waiting to see if I am really  "expert" enough.  Are we ever really an expert in this day & age of fast moving change?

What if....we realize how powerful we are and crown ourselves!?  Stop waiting & step into being successful already. What would that look like?

What if...we stopped waiting...

to be called a success?

to be considered a great Mom? (or Dad?)

to drive the car of our dreams?

to love your home just as it is?

What are you "waiting" for to be official?  To be good enough to speak at a particular conference? To double your rates even though you are turning clients away since you don't have enough time? To be officially an audaciously successful business woman/or man?

Please share it with me - I'd love to hear!

In Love & Joy,

Laura

More Vision

Everywhere I look there's a message about visions...

"When you imagine a better future and describe what you see, people feel drawn to the picture you paint. They inhale your passion. Your optimism is contagious."

~Martha Lasley, author of Courageous Visions

Create a Vision Story for 2006

One of the processes I do with my clients is for them to create a Vision Story. A Vision Story is a story about where they are in the future. It might be taking place in 10 years, 5 years, 1 year or even a particular event that is coming up like a workshop they are leading or a wedding.

They write as though it as already happened. So, for example.....my 1 year Vision Story starts with .....I am sitting here on the deck on Christmas morning 2006 reveling in the quiet before the boys wake up to open their presents. I am thinking back about the events that have happened over the past year......And then I go into detail describing what happened over the last year - the successful business partnerships, my ebook launch, my wedding, buying a new house....it feels very real and alive.

It's habit for us to think about setting goals or resolutions for the New Year. This year try something new and different - write a simple story. Remember it's not about it being perfect...it's about using your language, your way of talking and making it real.

Daniel Pink, author of "A Whole New Mind" (and one of my current favorites!), cites "Story" as one of the top 6 attributes for success in the coming years. As more and more left brain analytical functions get technological-ized what's going to be at a premium are the right brain functions of design, play, meaning, symphony, empathy and STORY. As a fast moving society we are getting tired of bullet points and info-bites. We want some depth and richness in our relationships with each other and ourselves.

Many of my clients roll their eyes at the thought of setting goals or else, it's a "should". Laura, let's talk about goals because I "should " have them. Instead we use story to make the accomplishments more compelling, more real, they have more substance....and therefore, are more likely to be done!

The cool thing is when you write them in a rich juicy detailed story - it's more fun to share them with friends and collegues. It's still a vulnerable thing to do - sharing our dreams always is - and yet, they are much more compelling in this form. The magical piece is that once you write your story, and then start sharing your story....the universe starts attracting exactly what you want. Opportunities, meetings, support, assistance in unlikely places and from unlikely people just start showing up!

As my fiance, Marc & I shared the story of our upcoming wedding - it's fraught with technicalities around Homeland Security and Immigration details....and as we told the story of what we really wanted...a simple wedding that we love filled with beauty, on the ocean, and celebrated with friends (not a quick City Hall because we have to get it done on the list of required immigration paperwork) - all sorts of friends have started offering to help coordinate the plans, sent emails of links to beautiful oceanside retreats, etc....  It's the power of sharing your story and noticing what starts to show up!

So, what is the story you want to be telling next New Year's Eve when you look back over the last year?  And, then dare to share a rich juicy story with a trusted friend or partner.....and you are on your path to making it real.

Cheers to making the story real,

Laura